When I first
heard of the space jump I thought “wow did someone actually do that.”After
watching the video I thought that it was amazing how brave he was. If I were in
his place I would have never even gone up there because it has a lot of risks. If
he somehow did not land safely it would have been tragic. Red bull was
sponsoring the whole jump and I thought that was crazy and ironic because the commercial
always says “red bull gives you wings.” At
first he seemed to be hesitant and I totally see why he would be since he is jumping
39 meters and breaking the sound barrier. I’m glad that he landed safely and I think
that it’s cool that he broke the record for highest free fall and the fastest
speed of free fall. In conclusion I think that Felix Baumgartner was extremely
brave and inspiring.
I like how you expand or build on one idea to the next in this paragraph. May I use this paragraph in class as an example to model some editing that would make it even stronger?
ReplyDeleteIt might have been good to introduce the subject in the opening sentence so readers would know specifically who you were talking about.
It is a good start to your blogging.